Reflections on Manager Relationships with Direct Reports

 I am a manager but I'm also a coach, sponsor and a mentor. I am all three of these things to my direct reports. I call it sweet spot management. But this post is not about my management style. It is about how to know you are being managed but not coached, sponsored, promoter or mentored and the dangers of confusing these different types of relationships. 

First off, let me get clear on what each are exactly:

Manager  -  Someone who has more information than you and is in charge of what and when you are read into upper management plans. A person who is ultimately responsible for the work you are producing, making sure it is in line with upper management goals, and making sure it is timely, acceptable, and prioritized. This person is responsible for isolating your strengths and your development opportunities. The key point here is that they are managing your work at your current level.

Sponsor - A sponsor is a person who wants to give you a project at the next level, a stretch project and is willing to use their own work reputation to make that happen and has the power to give you this. 

Promoter - A promoter is someone who would be a sponsor if they had a project that overlapped with your skillset but they are not able to give you a stretch project. These people are extremely enthusiastic about your work and they edify you around the company to others.  

Coach - A coach is someone who you can think out plans and strategy with and bounce ideas off and work to hold you accountable.

Mentor - Someone who can help you develop a skill you are lacking or provide guidance where you are stuck in general. 

The dangers of confusing these different roles or missing that you have a manager and not a mix of some of the others is that you might be missing

How To Know You have more than just a manager

• Is this person giving you stretch projects?
• Is this person articulating a strategy for your career growth and next promotion?
• Is this person reading you into what meetings they attend and what they are learning in those meetings about the strategy?
• Is this person making introductions for you at the company?
• Are you aware of big changes at the company (like a new rollout or structure change) or are you blindsided because this person did not inform you or did not know themselves? 
• I do not think you can tell if your manager is honest and operating with integrity because often managers are in high positions due to having great people skills and charisma. Also, the power differential is very high as they have more complete information than you. 
• Are the praises you get from your manager just private praises and in the review? Or do you feel and hear enthusiasm for your work from others and you know it is because your manager spoke positively about you around the company? 
• A quarter is enough time to find these things out about your manager. If it doesn't happen in the first quarter, it is likely not to happen ever. Give the person one quarter to prove this to you. Otherwise, you are likely wasting your time in 1:1 meetings with this person if you have already mastered your job at the current level. 
• If you have just a manager, the best thing to do is to pick your own project that is a stretch project, get permission of course to do it, and find other mentors, coaches, and sponsors around the company. 
• Find something this person can teach you and try to learn from them in your 1:1's however, it is also the case that your 1:1's may just be status report checkins and not career growth sessions. However, it is very difficult to know what is happening until the relationship ends and you have time to reflect. Sometimes you learn more complete information and that can be a clue as to what relationship you had with this person. 
• The person's job is actually just to manage you at your current level and to keep you productive and focused. I think in today's world there is blurring of management and some of these other roles but it is key not to get confused on what role is meeting you in your 1:1's. 

As for myself, I am always doing all of these roles for my direct reports. That is why I am a super ace manager who builds great high performing teams. I give a lot and get a lot from these relationships. However, I think it is just a reality that most managers are not doing all of these roles and I personally have been blindsided by thinking I had a coach, mentor, promotor only to find out I was only being managed. My key take away from this learning is that I think it is critical to find outside and objective coaching and mentoring. Also, it is completely necessary to find promoters and sponsors. If you spend a year at a company and do not find these then it is best to cut ties and get a new job because promotion is likely not to happen. Also, working your ass off left and right at a lot of projects that are at the next level without promoters and sponsors will cause you to irritate people as they see you are over-functioning vs. just doing your key responsibilities.  They might welcome your hard work but you will not be rewarded for it unless you are strategic at how you spend your time. 

At my job for the last 4 years, I over-functioned over and over and over again, striving for the promotion to director. I never got it because I lacked a sponsor for that role. That role wasn't natural for the business and the business failed to notice how talented I was to make a role for me. My key mistakes were not noticing that I was spinning my wheels and not doing the right networking to create the promotion. I know a lot of promotions are just natural. The business has a need and they see you can do it so you are promoted. If those conditions are not present, a sponsor must be found who does have the power to get creative to retain you for the company. Otherwise, you will need to leave the company to get the promotion. 

The point of this post is to help you and to help me remember these conditions and to be more strategic as you try to move from Senior Manager to Director. It is ok to fail! You are not trying if you are not failing! The key is to learn from it.